Near my apartment, there is a billboard featuring a trio of vacant-eyed pop stars urging me to vote. Their message would probably have a greater impact upon me if I had any idea who these people were -- which I'm taking to be a sign that I am not only hopelessly out of touch but likely to pass away within the next few months due to old age.
Actually, it's not exactly true that I don't recognize all the people on the billboard. I do recognize one -- Paris Hilton. The star of Fox's Adventures of Skanky and Skankier is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Vote or Die."
Scarry Thought No. 1: Is Paris Hilton threatening me?
Scarry Thought No. 2: Wait a minute... Paris Hilton is eligible to vote?
I'm not sure which idea is more terrifying.
