November 2005 Archives

I disagree with Monty about season two of Veronica Mars.

I've been a fan of Veronica Mars since day one-- or actually a bit before it since I did get to see the pilot a couple of months before anyone else (save for other TV critics and for other folks in the biz). When it did premiere on the same night as a little show called Lost, I featured Veronica Mars more prominently as I felt it would end up the better of the two shows. I'm pleased that I felt the same way at the end of last season-- I really enjoyed both shows, but would rank Veronica Mars as my favorite show of the 2004-05 season.

While Monty thinks season two has lost momentum, I think this season may be even better than season one (though it's still too soon to tell). Last season Veronica lost her best friend, her mother, her boyfriend, her virginity, and her social status. This season she's lost another best friend (Wallace), another boyfriend (Logan), her Mom (again at the end of last season), and even another friend or two (Meg and Weevil). All of Neptune is more divided than ever before along class lines.

We don't have so many flashbacks these season because after season one, we're pretty well caught up on Veronica's story. Sure, some mystery may seem gone, but I think they've more than made up for that by the huge number of new mysteries we've got going on this season.

Monty may think this season has less angst than season one, but I just think Veronica is carrying the weight of it all better (which stands to reason given all she went through last season). Veronica fears she was the target of the bus crash which means she feels guilty about Meg being in the condition she's in and over all the others who died. Her breakup with Logan wasn't the easiest thing in the world and I doubt she's happy about where things stand with Weevil either. And of course she's missing Wallace like crazy (and feeling bad that she wasn't there for him as much as he would've been there-- and has been-- for her). And she feels doubly guilty about Meg because of Duncan.

I'm not bothered by the guest appearances because if I didn't know who the people were, the characters would still work. Kevin Smith made a reasonable convenience store clerk, Joss Whedon did just fine as a rental car guy, and I didn't even notice the top models.

Monty thinks this season is meandering all over the place, I'm just thrilled there are so many developments in every episode. Last season we were dying to get the answers to the big mysteries, but I felt there were too many episodes that had a "Mystery of the Week" plot for most of the episode, with one little possible clue about the Big Mystery at the very end of each episode. This season, it just seems like there's a lot more going on throughout every episode and I like that. I'm trusting Rob Thomas and company to tie a lot of this together somehow or at least to give satisfactory resolution to a bunch of things by the end of the season.

As for Steve Guttenberg . . . well, I'm not wild about his character, but I don't feel he's doing a bad job with the role. In fact, I'm guessing this is how we're supposed to feel about the character. Is he some villainous mastermind? I hope not, but you never know. He may just be what he seems to be.

I've really enjoyed the show so far this season, even though I'm still not sold on some of the new characters. I still look forward to every episode and I've seen today's episode already (one of the perks of being a TV critic) and it's stellar (even leaving aside the Hannigan/Carpenter reunion).

After the first season of Veronica Mars received rave reviews, I managed to watch all the episodes through the magic of the Internet. And I liked it a lot, so now I'm watching the second season.

And... I think they've really lost momentum. Last season, there was a single driving force for the story arc: Lilly Kane's murder. Everything that wasn't episode-specific came from that: Veronica wanted to solve the mystery; the audience wanted to know what happened.

This year, it's all over the place: the bus plunge, Logan's possible-murder (which would have been obvious self defense anyway, so I don't know why I'm supposed to care), the Casablancas boys and their stepmother, Steve Guttenberg and his vague plans for Neptune. Even Veronica doesn't seem that interested in any of it, because she only spends like five minutes a week on anything before getting distracted by whatever's new. And aside from Logan, none of it has the connection to the main character the way "Veronica's Best Friend Was Murdered" did. I'm starting to think the season arc this year really is "Does Veronica like Duncan or Logan more?" and that's a huge comedown from the film noir they were trying to pull off last year.

The first season's big selling point for me was the flashbacks. They were telling two stories at once: the current-day story of Veronica investigating the murder and last year's story of how Veronica got ostracized. It was elegant. This year, that's not happening. There are a surprising number of scenes without Veronica even in them, considering that all of the first season was Veronica's POV. And there's a lot more stuntcasting this year, with Kevin Smith and Joss Whedon and two people from America's Next Top Model.

I enjoyed the first season, but I'm finding it hard to keep watching this year. It just seems to meander all over the place. It seems like they want to make "Wallace left!" another arc, but not provide any traction on it at all. If the actor's gone, we need to just move on with what we have.

Oh, also, I have a cynical prediction. I don't understand what Steve Guttenberg is doing on the show. Seriously, all of his scenes have been essentially irrelevant. And he's a washed-up actor. Which is exactly what I thought about Harry Hamlin last season! So I predict that Guttenberg caused the bus plunge. I have no prediction on whether I'll still be watching at the end of the season to see whether I'm right.

Because having ample savings in the bank is such a humdrum way to live your life, I bought a house earlier this year. Only because my definition of "ample savings" does not match the Bay Area real estate market's definition for "adequate down payment," I bought a fixer-upper. That means I spend a fair amount of my free time working on projects to bring my house up to code. And that means I spend an equally fair amount of my free time at the Home Depot.

Coincidentally, this also means I spend a fair amount of my free time choking down blistering rage.

I hate Home Depot. I hate it with the same fiery hostility I would feel if Satan himself were to spring forth from the gates of Hell and open a chain of big-box retail outlets stocked with shelf after shelf of human misery. I hate the Home Depot's cluttered, overwhelming aisles. I hate its apparent rejection of easily identifiable categorization and easy-to-decipher organization. Because of Home Depot, I now hate the color orange.

But mostly, I hate the Home Depot's television commercials, which -- even by low standards of the advertising industry -- are peppered with lies and false promises.

Bones - Don't worry, if you get killed and all that's left of you are your bones, a brilliant but socially awkward woman and a vampire with a soul will solve the crime using a combination of 3D imaging and sexual tension.

Cold Case - Don't worry, if you died a long time ago, a malnourished woman in blue light will catch the bad guy through the power of flashbacks.

Criminal Minds - Don't worry, if you're killed by a serial killer, a team of oddballs led by a brilliant but broken man will catch him with a combination of psychology, visual effects, and Bartlett's Quotations. With guest appearances by the cocky agent guy, the computer-bound nerd girl, and so-smart-he's-practically-autistic kid.

Crossing Jordan - Don't worry, if you're dead and lying on a metal table, the sexy coroner will find the clue everyone else missed and break the rules by going out on the town to catch the bad guy with a combination of leather pants, lipstick, and slow motion.

CSI - Don't worry, if you die in a horribly improbable accident, a team of odd but beautiful people led by a brilliant but broken man will figure it out using a variety of super cool tools and groovy music. Just remember to leave some skin under your fingernails and listen to The Who. Only applies to residents of Las Vegas, Miami, and New York City.

House - Don't worry, if you're incredibly, implausibly sick, a team of doctors led by a brilliant but broken man, who is also a grumpy drug addict, will save you ... but only if you're interesting enough to convince him to.

Law and Order - Don't worry, if you're shot and killed in New York, old, grumpy, alcoholic detectives will stand over you drinking coffee and they'll make at least one pun. After a half hour, your killer will be handed over to an old, grumpy, alcoholic district attorney with an astoundingly beautiful assistant who will bring them to justice ... unless it's sweeps, then they might lose or get hit by a car or something.

Law and Order: Criminal Intent - Don't worry, if your store is robbed by people in funny masks who turn out to be connected to the mob, a brilliant but broken man with a beautiful sidekick will find the culprits by psyching them out until they cry ... unless the detective cocks his head so much that it falls right off.

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit - Don't worry, if you're horribly raped, a former rap star and a paranoid UFO freak will get the guy who did it. Be sure to cry a lot - it helps motivate them.

Medium - Don't worry, if you're dead and gone, a brilliant but whiny woman with psychic powers will dream about you and solve your problems for you, unless she's too distracted by her whiny husband and whiny kids. Just die soon, because this show won't be around too long.

Monk - Don't worry, if you're the victim of a crime in some parallel universe San Francisco where it's never foggy, a brilliant but broken man with an annoying sidekick will solve the crime, so long as it doesn't involve stepping on a crack or getting dirty or pretty much going outside and doing anything at all. Special guest appearance by cops so inept they make Car 54 spin in its grave.

NCIS - Worry.

Numb3rs - Don't worry, math will save you, or at least catch your killer, so long as it can be explained on a chalkboard. With special guest appearances by the kindly retired dad, the so-smart-he's-practically-autistic kid, and Joel from Alaska, who, it turns out, was really an FBI agent all along.

Without a Trace - Don't worry, if you disappear at a moment of extreme stress, a team of beautiful people, some of whom are having sex with each other, led by a brilliant but broken man, will find you. Just make sure you live in New York and don't stray too far.

(Originally appeared on Powazek.com and reprinted with permission.)

At the beginning of the season I decided that I would take up the task of watching all three of the new, similarly-themed alien-invasion TV series. As Thanksgiving rolls around and two of the three shows have received full-season orders, I've got some clear opinions about which of these series is mildly interesting and which is a straight-up loser.

First, to introduce the players. There's CBS's Threshold, an alien-invasion series that kicks off with a mysterious signal being received on a ship in the Atlantic Ocean. (Update: After this article was posted, Threshold was cancelled.) There's NBC's Suface, an alien-lifeform-invasion series that kicks off with mysterious sightings of sea life in the world's oceans. And there's ABC's Invasion, an alien-invasion series that kicks off with mysterious happenings in the swamps and lakes of Florida after a hurricane.

If you gave a creative-writing class a loose premise (spooky alien-invasion tale that begins in the water and spreads onto land), depending on the cleverness of the students you'd probably get a similar-yet-different spread of stories, which is what seems to be the case with these three series. Who gave out this particular assignment is still a mystery, but the pupils have turned in their papers and it's time for judgment.

Farscape star Claudia Black will be joining Stargate SG-1 as a full-time cast member in the show's tenth season, reprising her role from earlier this year. And yet again, I'm torn between admiring the producers' sheer fiendish ingenuity in luring Farscape fans to shore up their audience, and simply wanting to egg SciFi president Bonnie Hammer's house.

On one hand, Black will be playing a mostly dumb, terribly written character. On the other hand, she's a fantastic actress, and Stargate got about fifteen times less fun, at least for me, after she vanished. And watching Black and former castmate Ben Browder play off one another is basically televised gold.

I hate myself, but this pretty much guarantees I'll be watching more of this lame, snooze-inducing excuse for science fiction. Damn you, SciFi! Just give us more Farscape and be done with it!

When I reviewed "Yes Dear" lo these many years ago, I capped the whole thing by writing:

In the hands of a deft writing team, this might actually work -- the sisters could reflect on how their different personalities and common upbringing have shaped their own mothering styles and we could all have a good laugh at how capriciously shaped one's parenting philosophies are. Unfortunately, we're at the tender mercies of Alan Kirschenbaum and Greg Garcia, and the show stinks. It's not even fun to heckle -- that's how flat the writing is and how poorly the actors react to each other.

What I should have done was put a number by that. Because today, I am crossing off that ding against my critical karma.

It turns out the same man who inflicted "Yes, Dear" on an unsuspecting public, Greg Garcia, is the guy behind this season's gift to comedy, "My Name Is Earl." Despite my esteemed colleague's mixed reaction to the show's pilot, I think that darn near everyone on this show is excellent: until now, I considered Ethan Supplee a necessary evil in Kevin Smith movies, but here, he's sweetly amusing. And I had previously referred to Jaime Pressley as "the poor man's Amy Smart," but I think she's finally come into her own on this show as the ferocious, amoral, erroneously-named Joy. Also, Jason Lee's moustache needs its own credit, it adds so much to the visual tableaux that unfolds.

So my prior assessment of Garcia was unfair: he's capable of doing very funny things. Moreover, he's shown me the virtues of admitting wrongdoings in order to iron out one's karma. And I didn't even have to suffer a Carson Daly viewing to do so!

Oh, crap. Here I go again ...

Here's a sad story (via tvtattle) about the fall of TiVo. But I have to admit, it's true -- once you've switched to high-def, standard-definition TiVo just won't do it.

Fortunately, I have the DirecTV HD TiVo, so I get to record two things at once, and in high-definition. But most people won't ever see this product because it's being phased out by DirecTV.

The good news for TiVo fans is, next year the company is supposedly bringing out a two-tuner, high-def-compatible box for the wider market. We shall see.

For years now, CBS has been nothing more to me than The Old People Network, offering bland, predictable fare that won't upset the Metamucil-and-embittered-nostalgia crowd. I know CBS is home to several TeeVee favorites, including The Amazing Race and Without A Trace, but even those thoroughly decent shows seem to lack a certain energy. And CBS' edgier offerings, like CSI, have gotten watered down by endless duplication. That sense of pervasive sluggishness was one of my biggest complaints about Threshold, which has continued to be maddeningly so-so in the weeks since its debut.

So it suprised me to hear that CBS was making the hugely intelligent -- even daring -- move of streaming ad-free Threshold episodes via its Web site. True, they'll only be offering one episode at a time, and only in a three-day weekly window, but it's a start. It's a perfect fit for the geek audience Threshold is presumably trying to reach, and it ties in well with the show's still-creepy notion of a viral, self-propagating alien signal. (Note: If your head begins to distort into a fourth-dimensional snowflake and/or you begin to entertain thoughts of world conquest, please stop watching.)

I can't understand why every network isn't doing this with all of their shows. (Well, maybe not Yes, Dear. The longer we can keep that from spreading to the Internet, the better.) Streaming video's good enough for casual viewing, but choppy enough to dissuade would-be bootleggers. Since it's difficult to fast-forward through, the networks could even subsidize it with advertising, if they were feeling particularly greedy. And folks who didn't have time or TiVo enough to catch an intriguing-sounding show when it originally aired would have an easy way to catch up -- and maybe even get hooked.

CBS isn't exactly leading the pack here, what with ABC's offerings for download via iTunes and Cartoon Network's Friday-night streams of various new and classic Adult Swim episodes. Still, I'm pleasantly baffled that this sort of novel thinking is coming from the crotchety old Tiffany Network. I almost expect to hear that Andy Rooney's started blogging.

Which, come to think of it, would be kind of awesome.