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My TeeVee.org in partnership with E! Entertainment Television presents...

My Insider

By Liz Smyth

Gossip, gossip everywhere, and not a drop to drink... Speaking of drinking, who was that tall drink of water on the arm of The Practice's pulchritudinous prosecutor, Lara Flynn Boyle, at Sunday's Oscar telecast. Why, none other than aging bad boy Jack Nicholson, that's who! Apparently, Lara was squiring this Jack of All Trades around town as part of a community service project to brighten the lives of our senior citizens. After the ceremony, it was back to the old folks' home for Mr. Nicholson, where Lara Flynn and a chorus of cuties serenaded him and his fellow oldsters with songs of yesteryear. A great actress, a stellar role model for girls and a humanitarian? Ms. Flynn Boyle, you go!

You can't be too rich or too thin... Or can you? Shapely siren Calista Flockhart is proving that old adage holds about as much water as one of Warren Beatty's casting couch promises. And I should know! The Ally McBeal McBabe has inked a rich contract to continue playing the baffling but beautiful barrister for prolific producing powerhouse David E. Kelley. And, as she proved during a lunch with me at a trendy Westwood eatery last week, our Calista is dedicated to shedding those excess pounds she's carried around the past few years. As I enjoyed the leg of lamb and a good merlot, Calista ate like a bird, munching on a sprig of parsley and savoring some mineral water. Keep fighting that battle of the bulge, Calista. You're an inspiration to us all!

Speaking of inspiration... Diminutive dandy Michael J. Fox is the wind beneath this correspondent's wings. And I'm not just saying that because of the delightful soup supper I shared with the little laugh factory the other night at Spago. I just wanted to pass along all of our best wishes to a speedy recovery to the cherubic Canadian chuckle-meister. I don't know much about Parkinson's disease, but I'm sure with a little bed rest and plenty of fluids, Michael will be back to his old foxy self. When I passed that along to Michael, he seemed genuinely touched -- the heartfelt heartthrob couldn't stop sobbing.

That being said... Don't think I'm not licking my lips and crossing my legs at the thought of superstar Charlie Sheen stepping in to pinch hit for the delightful Mr. J. Fox on Spin City. Au contraire. Here's one reporter who can't wait to feast her eyes on the erstwhile bad boy as he struts his stuff on ABC's Tuesday night tummy-tickler. And who knows? Maybe Charlie Estevez -- as his close friends call him -- can team up with proud papa Marty in a Spin City-West Wing crossover episode. I think I smell sweeps stunt!

Not to tell tales out of school.... But West Wing wunderkind Aaron Sorkin told me that just such a stunt may be in the works, as he and I brown-bagged it yesterday on the streets of Studio City. I caught up with A.S. as he shuttled back and forth between West Wing and the set of his doomed but side-busting sitcom Sports Night. So how does Senor Sorkin keep up such a pressure-packed pace? "Fistfuls of pills," he told me. "And I've been experimenting with a serum extracted from the adenoidal glands of bullfrogs." If the side-effect is a multi-show deal at Imagine Entertainment, barkeep, pour me a stiff belt of that cocktail!

You know who really burns my ass...? Delta Burke. That hefty harridan couldn't land a show right now if she showed up at a network executive's home with a wading pool full of Jell-O, a camcorder and a couple of sorority pledges. And will she return my calls? Maybe she ate the phone.

Oops. Did I write that last paragraph instead of just thinking it...? Me-ow!

I'm embarrassed to admit it... But I didn't see Best Picture winner "American Beauty" in the theatre. Still, after watching the ceremony over canapes at Pauly Shore's Hollywood Hills home, there's no doubt in my mind who the real American Beauty is -- the luminous Annette Bening. Doesn't mean she couldn't stand to lose a few pounds... Annette, just say no to the crab cakes!

Speaking of crabs... When is someone going to give sharp-tongued side-splitter Don Rickles another shot at TV stardom? Call me a crazy old hag -- and Don did as we split a pretzel outside New York's Rockefeller Center -- but today's audiences are crying out for a CPO Sharkey remake. Come on, Hollywood! What's the matter with Don Rickles? Did he kill a guy? I mean, other than Sammy Davis Jr.

Keep this on the QT.... Matt LeBlanc, Michael T. Weiss, Neil Patrick Harris and Matthew Perry. Four hunk hotties who've become shooting stars of the silver screen, and I've made clumsy, booze-fueled passes at them all. Thank God for that power outage and the fist of Quaaludes at the NBC commissary, or I would have gone 0-for-4. Proud as a peacock? I know I am.

Until next time, Mr. And Mrs. Gossip Lover! Keep your head in the clouds and your mind in the gutter!