BERLIN — Giant robots disguised as construction vehicles killed 13 people while taking control of Germany's largest nuclear reactor yesterday. The robots held the plant for more than 6 hours, enslaving the human workers and stealing energy directly from the reactor's core.

In a joint statement, German Prime Minister Gerhard Schröder and Autobot Leader Optimus Prime blamed Decepticons for the attack, claiming it was part of a nefarious plan to create a space bridge.

Decepticon leader Megatron denied any responsibility, claiming he was vacationing in Bermuda at the time.

"Megatron wishes to express his deepest sympathies to the families of those killed. Megatron was sickened as everyone was by these truly horrific events. Megatron wishes to reiterate that we Decepticons want only to peacefully co-exist with humanity," Megatron said in a statement released to the press.