Meet THE CAT Contestants

These are the eight players who will succeed or fail together in their quest for up to one million dollars. One of them is The Cat. Seven are The Cat's potential victims. Can you figure out which is which?

Samantha Age: 24 Place of Birth: Galien, MI Current Residence: Arvada, CO Occupation: Mixologist at The Pussycat Pub and Gentleman's Club (coincidence?) Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Handedness: Right Closest Family Member: Brother, Scott Blood Type: O- Hobbies: River rafting. Word jumbles. Collecting dragonfly-shaped hair accessories. Reason for Being on The Cat: "My brother is the co-producer." Besides clothes and toiletries, what did she pack in her The Cat suitcase?: 68 cans of Nine Lives Mariner's Catch cat food. Because somebody has to feed... The Cat.

Peter Age: 32 Place of Birth: Fremont, CA Current Residence: Los Angeles, CA Occupation: Ambulance chaser Zodiac Sign: Libra Handedness: Ambidextrous. Closest Family Member: Imaginary brother, Donny. Blood Type: B- Hobbies: Porn. Navigating the intricacies of the American judicial system. Cheap gin. Breakin' hearts and bustin' heads. More porn. Reason for Being on The Cat: Token minority. Besides clothes and toiletries, what did he pack in his The Cat suitcase?: Fifteen gallons of Gilbey's gin. Portable DVD player. "The Hole and Cumplete Buttman Cumpendium" DVD box set.

Joan Age: 19 Place of Birth: Reseda, CA Current Residence: Berkeley, CA Occupation: Pursuing a bachelor's degree in Gender Studies at the University of California Zodiac Sign: Taurus Handedness: Left. Way left. Closest Family Member: One-quarter-Cherokee aunt, Spirit-Wind Blood Type: O+ Hobbies: Fighting the male hegemony. Hot, girl-on-girl action. Reason for Being on The Cat: "For too long, my sisters and I have tolerated the derision and hypocrisy of the penis conspiracy! My victory over The Cat will be a triumph for all of womynkind, and a warning to the foolish XY who would underestimate the righteous thunder of the double X! Also, I need laundry money." Besides clothes and toiletries, what did she pack in her The Cat suitcase?: The Feminine Mystique. Pepper spray. Signed poster of JC from *NSync.

Marcus (ELIMINATED) Age: 26 Place of Birth: Wichita, KS Current Residence: Wichita, KS Occupation: Lineman for the county Zodiac Sign: Cancer Handedness: Left Closest Family Member: No family to speak of. Blood Type: A+ Hobbies: Driving the main road. Searching in the sun for another overload. Alcoholism. Reason for Being on The Cat: "It was either this or suicide." Besides clothes and toiletries, what did he pack in his The Cat suitcase?: Harmonica. Colt .45. Impotent rage.

Terri Age: 38 Place of Birth: Brooks, IA Current Residence: Nodaway, IA Occupation: Features editor for the Nodaway-Brooks-Corning Tattler Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius Handedness: Eats with her left, types with her right. Closest Family Member: Sister, Bernice, though she hasn't seen much of her since she moved all the way to Clarke County. Blood Type: B+ Hobbies: Karaoke. Chatting with friends at the new Nodaway Starbucks. Precious Moments figurine collection. Reason for Being on The Cat: "After I was runner-up in the Greater Council Bluffs Sing-off for the third year running, Bernice told me I just had to sign up. I only hope that mean Simon Cowell isn't too hard on me." Besides clothes and toiletries, what did she pack in her The Cat suitcase?: Naivete, the Complete Hank Williams, Jr. Song Book, and a dream.

Boots Age: 3 Place of Birth: Behind the stereo cabinet in the Rutledge residence Current Residence: All over town. Sleeps at the Rutledges'. Occupation: Whatever the hell he pleases. (Unemployed.) Zodiac Sign: Pisces Handedness: Front right Closest Family Member: Has nine littermates, but is basically indifferent to all of them. Blood Type: Unknown. Never tested. Hobbies: Licking his butthole. Clawing huge gashes down the side of the Rutledge sofa. Reason for Being on The Cat: "Mrrrrep!" Besides clothes and toiletries, what did he pack in his The Cat suitcase?: Ball of yarn. Catnip (confiscated). Also, did not bring clothes or toiletries.

Katy (ELIMINATED) Age: 41 Place of Birth: Rockford, IL Current Residence: Atlantic City, NJ Occupation: Her kids' mom. Zodiac Sign: Capricorn Handedness: Right Closest Family Member: Invalid mother, Anne Blood Type: A+ Hobbies: Providing a loving environment for her husband and three children. Table games. Reason for Being on The Cat: "I really need this money. No, you don't understand, I have got to win this money. God damned craps, I was this fucking close! Vito's taken Billy, and he said that Mia would be next. Poor Billy, he was so small, so sweet. I'm so sorry, Billy. Oh, please, God, let me win this money." Besides clothes and toiletries, what did she pack in her The Cat suitcase?: Picture of her family. 2,000 scratch-off lottery tickets.

Randolph Age: 43 Place of Birth: Madison, WI Current Residence: Beaverton, OR Occupation: Licensed chiropractor/Hypnotist/Children's Entertainer Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Handedness: No longer sure. Closest Family Member: The whole world is his family. Blood Type: AB- Hobbies: Hanging around the park. Hacky sack. Mourning the loss of Jerry. Reason for Being on The Cat: "We're goin' to Amsterdam, man!" Besides clothes and toiletries, what did he pack in his The Cat suitcase?: Tobacco water pipe (confiscated.) Live toad (also confiscated.) Grateful Dead bootleg tapes (confiscated and burned.)

The Cat can be seen every Monday night at 8 PM, 7 Central.