You are? Great!

Now, don't you suppose it's about time you paid us?

Seriously -- we've been more than patient with you. You've spent the last 40 minutes clicking back and forth, copying our articles and e-mailing them to your friends and posting in our forums and generally enjoying the benefits of our labor without ponying up anything in return. We've provided you a service and all we've seen from you is the back of your hand. That hardly seems like a fair and equitable exchange.

Yes, yes. We know all you hippies out there like to think we're doing this for the pure love of our craft. But it's a funny thing about writers -- we enjoy a hot meal every couple of weeks just like anyone else. And hot meals served out at the local soup kitchen don't count.

We're not going to lie to you -- things are pretty grim around here. All but one of our computers has been repossessed; we have to take turns using a Blue and White Mac G3 we bought off the back of a truck last week. They shut off our water last week, and with our staff, things are getting mighty ripe here. Now we hear that urchins are selling our stock on the streets of Tijuana. For one peso, you can own 100 shares of Salon.

A peso, of all the indignities. A Thai Bhat we could have lived with. A peso just makes us a little more crazy.

So here's the deal: you become a Salon TeeVee premium member and maybe, just maybe we'll be able to keep the wolves away from the door for another day. For just $50, you can read all the content on our site -- the same content that people who don't pay get to read, only you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you kept our investors from hanging themselves with their shoelaces. You people like to feel satisfied about things -- we see your forum posts.

And if you've already joined Salon TeeVee Premium, maybe you can convince your friends and loved ones to sign up as well. Use threats if you have to. Or, if you prefer, just give us their names and addresses. You don't have to be involved.

If just one out of 10 people visiting this site right now were to sign up for a membership, that would generate enough revenue to allow us to buy government surplus cheese. Delicious, delicious cheese.

So keep enjoying Salon TeeVee. And pay up, deadbeats.