"24" Predictions Wrap-Up
If you haven’t seen the 24 finale yet, don’t look. Or look and be damned.
| Chance of there being a new season of 24. | 100% |
| Chance of Jack Bauer’s return to 24. | 100% |
| Chance of Jack surviving a Chinese prison. | 100% |
| Chance of Jack Bauer working in a Chinese prison making pirated copies of “High School Musical.” | 25% |
| Chance of former President Charles Logan (Gregory Itzin) returning to 24. | 100% |
| Chance of former President Logan being imprisoned. | 50% |
| If imprisoned, chance of former President Logan convincing Multiple Miggs to swallow his tongue. | 10% |
| Chance of former President Logan to look more Nixon-like without plastic surgery. | 0% |
| Chance of Vice President Hal Gardner (Ray Wise) becoming the new President. | 100% |
| Chance of Vice President Gardner crossing paths with Jack Bauer. | 100% |
| Chance of Vice President Gardner being charged with the 1990 slaying of Washington state teenager Laura Palmer. | 5% |
| Chance of Audrey Raines (Kim Raver) being a victim of one or more the following; stabbed, shot at, shot, electrocuted, poisoned, burned, non-lethally poisoned, injured in car crash and/or infected with Lyme disease. | Certain. |
| Chance of Audrey Raines still being in love with Jack Bauer. | 100% |
| Chance of Audrey sleeping with somebody else anyway. | 99% |
| Chance of Chloe O’Brian (Mary Lynn Rajskub) returning to CTU. | 100% |
| Chance of Chloe being reconciled with her fey ex-husband. | 50% |
| If reconciled, the chance of Chloe being nine-months pregnant. | 50% |
| If pregnant, chance of Chloe going into childbirth at an extremely inopportune moment. | 100% |
| Chance of another authoritarian hard-as-nails blonde taking charge of CTU. | 75% |
| Chance of 24 having a blonde female character who isn’t noble, defiant and tough like the true daughters of the Aryan race. | 1% |
| Chance of the return of Naked Mandy. | 25% |
| Chance of “Naked Mandy” staying brunette. | 100% |
| Chance of Chief of Staff Mike Novick (Jude Ciccolella) putting on fifty pounds and completing his transformation into real-life Vice President Dick Cheney. | 55% |
| Chance of Christopher Henderson (Peter Weller) surviving the multiple gunshots Jack used to kill him. | 1% |
| If dead, chance of Henderson being revived by a faction of Red Lectroids from across the 8th dimension. | 95% |
| Chance of 24 being cancelled midseason due to the incredible appeal of NBC’s Heroes. | 2% |
—David Rout