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Hey, Abbott! You Know Nothing of Baseball
The sports commentary broadcast on KMOX the other day concerning the line-up of the St. Louis ballclub was an appalling exercise and a black mark against good radio journalism. We cannot decide which was more disgraceful — the fact that sports commentators William “Bud” Abbott and Louis Costello could not even be bothered to know the names of the St. Louis players or that the live studio audience hooted in merriment at their willful ignorance.
The commentary immediately started on the wrong foot when neither Abbott nor Costello could recall the name of the St. Louis first baseman. Surely, Stan Musial’s exploits have earned him some measure of renown. Yet, both Abbott and Costello failed to remember his name. Perhaps, these two sports reporters were on some other assignment when Musial led the St. Louis squadron to triumph in the 1946 World Series.
Matters rapidly declined from there when the two commentators unleashed a vicious anti-German slur against St. Louis second baseman Red Schoendienst. Mr. Abbott kept referring to Schoendienst as “What,” a demeaning term even for someone who didn’t make the 1946 All-Star Team. Believe you me, during the Second World War, no one was more in favor of anti-Kraut invective than the Radiots, but now that we’ve signed the armistice, surely, it’s time to turn the page and start referring to descendants of that once-despised land by their proper names.
When pressed for the name of the St. Louis third baseman, Mr. Costello kept claiming he did not know. Here is a newsflash, Mr. Expert, straight from United Press International: The third baseman’s name is Whitey Kurowski! If you had even bothered to read the Western Union dispatches from Sportsman Park, you would know that. But perhaps you and Mr. Abbott were too busy “yukking it up” at some tavern near the ballpark to take proper notice of the man who led St. Louis in home runs in 1947.
And so it continued. Enos Slaughter, Harry Breechen, and especially Marty Marion — all were demeaned by these incompetent broadcasters in the most disgraceful ways imaginable. To be fair, both Messers Abbott and Costello did give proper recognition to St. Louis center fielder Larry Because, a promising young slugger whose name you will likely hear throughout the upcoming season. But that only underscores how shameful their misinformed commentary actually was — and how the studio audience should have howled them off the stage instead of chuckling at their deliberate mispronunciations and slights.
What has happened to journalism in this country? Surely, the news team of Abbott and Costello is a disgrace, a slap in the face to journalists like Daniel Kaye and his groundbreaking work on the poisonous substances found in vessels with pestles and flagons with dragons. And so we have this to say to Abbott and Costello the next time they want to know who is on first. If we’re discussing the matter of responsible sports journalists, certainly not you two gentlemen. Certainly not you.